i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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