dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
