but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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