I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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