The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
