All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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