She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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