Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
