i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
