Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
