forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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