I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
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I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
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He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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