If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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