If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
And then my night got REAL pukey
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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