Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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