I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
