the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize