On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The beer is more important than you right now.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
