I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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