Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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