All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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