i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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