I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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