it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
