I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
