Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
