just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
