Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's blow job season.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
