Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
this will be a night to untag.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Found your dick twin last night
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
