when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
