apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
