What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
