I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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