I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
