it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
