New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
