filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
