why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
