do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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