their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
