I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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