I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he thought i was a dude.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
