ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
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I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
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I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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