Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
