I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I could fuck to npr.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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