there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
