can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
