Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize