Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
