How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So squirting runs in the family.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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