I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.