I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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