i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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