i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
