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the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
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