Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude