I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.