i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments