too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
