who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
